I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
