Did you just see the Batmobile???
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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