But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
