i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.