They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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