She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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