My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
