he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
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