is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
