Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
