How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
