is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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