Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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