It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
