When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
