u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
