belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think my fart just growled at me.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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