Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
