I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.