I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
