i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress