this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.