Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
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The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
so much tequila, so little girl.