i need an iv and a liver transplant
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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