I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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