At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
