i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
