Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dignity is for republicans.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
