I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
