the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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