She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
