Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have aggressive nipples.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
