Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
