i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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