What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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