Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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