do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
