you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
