What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
