I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize