yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
