He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
