I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I don't deserve a penis
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
