p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
