these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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