how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
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Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
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The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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