So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
