I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
