My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
love makes seman taste better
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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