How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
