I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
