lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
