I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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