We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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