Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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