just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
