seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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