operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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