also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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