Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
