did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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