When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
