I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
