South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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