Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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