so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
