and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize